i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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