so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
