in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That accounts for only three of the penises
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize