We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
