Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
