he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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