u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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