I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
