Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
