I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize