I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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