there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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