Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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