"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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