You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize