Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
