I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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