He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
