Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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