Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
