i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
