great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
