Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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