UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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