Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
