I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize