Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
