Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize