before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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