I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
