first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
