Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
