the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
