god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
