the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
no you cant smoke seaweed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
