I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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