i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
