are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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