I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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