..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
