Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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