Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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