Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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