There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
