Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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