Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
