you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
