It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
