don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
