my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
