At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
