i was born a porn star she said
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
