I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
