Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
