It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
