sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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