You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize