This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
