I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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