what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
