Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
