When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
