I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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