Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
