good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
