I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
