matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
