omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
