I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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