i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
