# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
