sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
