She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
