How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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